We Made It
Sky has alot less colic, I've been getting sleep even 3 hours at a time, yesterday I slept 5 in a row. I feel much better and so does she, the pain she had before digesting food is so much less and she seems to feel good most of the time.
She's noticing things, especially the mirror. It's her favorite! She loves a crowd, we were over Grandma's in the Bronx this Saturday and Aunt Maureen, Aunt Pat and cousin Marissa were there. Sky loved being passed around and loved being the center of attention.
She is growing so fast! She's so beautiful and we're really getting to know her personality. Spitfire does sum it up. She's feisty! She really doesn't cry unless she means it. But when she means it, watch out! It's LOUD.
On Thursday I really hit "rock bottom" with the new Mommy thing. I started to have so much doubt about what people said that I would be a great Mom and that it would come naturally. I doubted myself as a person, this is what I wanted to do most in the world and I was failing, I really felt what it was like to be totally depressed and frustrated and cried my eyes out. I was so scared it might be post-partum depression I thought about telling someone. But if I did that would just confirm my belief I was failing, it was the most AWFUL feeling in the world. This day Skylar was crying for HOURS and nothing helped. I was alone without my Mom or Nick and had to call Mom - making me feel even more like I couldn't do it, what was wrong with me that I had to call for help, I couldn't cut it...
I think the problem causing the crying was a recurrence of Thrush, which I also had and made me feel tired, sore and miserable. It caused so much pain to breastfeed on my left side I was pumping, and I worried I couldn't nurse Skylar and felt more inadequate, even guilty.
I am over this now, I know now it was due to hormones, stress and learning so much at one time. But we got through it, I know I'm a great Mom since I'm doing my best, and that everything is going to be fine. I hope that other Moms who find themselve in that situation will know this too. The crying will eventually die down, sleep will eventually come, it will all get better. And now what I remember are only the good things and I already miss the little tiny baby Skylar was a few pounds ago...it does go so fast!
She's noticing things, especially the mirror. It's her favorite! She loves a crowd, we were over Grandma's in the Bronx this Saturday and Aunt Maureen, Aunt Pat and cousin Marissa were there. Sky loved being passed around and loved being the center of attention.
She is growing so fast! She's so beautiful and we're really getting to know her personality. Spitfire does sum it up. She's feisty! She really doesn't cry unless she means it. But when she means it, watch out! It's LOUD.
On Thursday I really hit "rock bottom" with the new Mommy thing. I started to have so much doubt about what people said that I would be a great Mom and that it would come naturally. I doubted myself as a person, this is what I wanted to do most in the world and I was failing, I really felt what it was like to be totally depressed and frustrated and cried my eyes out. I was so scared it might be post-partum depression I thought about telling someone. But if I did that would just confirm my belief I was failing, it was the most AWFUL feeling in the world. This day Skylar was crying for HOURS and nothing helped. I was alone without my Mom or Nick and had to call Mom - making me feel even more like I couldn't do it, what was wrong with me that I had to call for help, I couldn't cut it...
I think the problem causing the crying was a recurrence of Thrush, which I also had and made me feel tired, sore and miserable. It caused so much pain to breastfeed on my left side I was pumping, and I worried I couldn't nurse Skylar and felt more inadequate, even guilty.
I am over this now, I know now it was due to hormones, stress and learning so much at one time. But we got through it, I know I'm a great Mom since I'm doing my best, and that everything is going to be fine. I hope that other Moms who find themselve in that situation will know this too. The crying will eventually die down, sleep will eventually come, it will all get better. And now what I remember are only the good things and I already miss the little tiny baby Skylar was a few pounds ago...it does go so fast!
posted by spinderella @ 4:45 AM
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