Almost Sleepless Night
Last night the crying fit started around 11pm, after our feeding. I did everything to console her, but nothing worked. I figured it would die down soon...but the fact that this had happened for a few nights now, one of them totally sleepless and some of them mostly sleepless, didn't reassure me. I could not take not sleeping again. I had to sleep. Even though I felt good during the day today I was so tired. My back hurt from holding the baby most of the day, because unless she's sleeping she cries if I put her down. Besides I have no place to put her, except the bouncy seat that I finally discovered today works some of the time. My abdomen was hurting too where the incision from my C-section was, even though it felt so good all day I didn't even take any pain medication. Now, because I was so tired and almost delirious from lack of sleep, everything hurt.
My Mom had said, "call me anytime if it gets too rough even if it's the middle of the night". I didn't want to do that. At 1am I was awoken by Nick who found me sitting up in bed holding Skylar. Holding her was the only thing that would keep her quiet. I was at the point where I just could not stay awake anymore. Absolutely impossible. But what could I do? I HAD to take care of her! How do the doctors on call do it? Do they use drugs? Where can I get some? The hospital, that's it. And that's where I wanted to go - to take her back to the nursery, where they did a great job watching Skylar, knew exactly how to care for her and console her, and let me sleep. But once you leave, you can't go back..kind of like Sky must feel about leaving the womb so early. "Man," she must think, "if I only just waited. I had it so good in there." That's how I feel about my hospital stay.
Nick took Skylar from my arms, and she starting fussing and crying wildly again. He tried holding her, the "stair walk" that usually works, but nothing worked. I tried a few of the same things, even sang her some lullabies. She kicked and flailed her arms hitting me in the face and scratching me with her little nails. Maybe she didn't like the lullabies, but why was she so viscious? She was red from crying. I took her temperature: 98.8. Normal. So what was wrong? What could I do? I called Mom - Mayday!
Nick had to go to sleep in order to get up at 5am for work. Mom came over and helped me out. I wound up crying hysterically thinking all kinds of things like how do other people do this, what's wrong with me, how am I going to live like this? I hope it wasn't post partum depression...but no, I am so happy to be a Mommy! Skylar is good most of the day, why are the nights like this?
Mom held Skylar and watched TV. I fell asleep for 3 hours. I woke up, saw Mom and Skylar, it was bliss - I had slept! Skylar was still sleeping, so we put her in the bassinet and Mom left. How could I ever thank her for doing that for me? I'm so lucky, I want to be such a good Mom too.
I was still so tired, wanted more sleep. Tried a few times, and the only thing that quieted Sky was a pacifier. Until it fell out of her mouth after a few minutes. Got up and reset pacifier several times, it turned out to be more trouble getting up and down out of bed with my incision hurting than bothering to sleep at all. I changed and fed her. After alot of fussing, she nursed on my left side for over 20 minutes (I let it go overtime since I was watching "Who's The Boss?" and reminiscing about those clothes we wore back in the 80's) and then fell totally asleep. According to my Dr. and everyone out there who is a baby feeding expert, I should wake her! Blow on her hair, use a wet washcloth on her forehead, change her clothes. Screw that...I let her sleep. That's what she wanted and so did I. While she happily slept, I got a few chores done, the dishes, the laundry, and even dressed in shorts and a shirt (maternity of couse, regular clothes don't fit yet) instead of pajamas. I put on makeup and felt somewhat presentable. I even wrote out two more Thank You notes. I'm out of cards now, will have to pick up some more.
On the kitchen counter this morning as I went to get my coffee I made the most amazing discovery: a package of "Divine Cappucino Chip cookies" and english muffins. Nick couldn't have gotten them because he didn't have time to go to the store, and we never buy either of those things. They must have been from an Angel...that explains why the brand of cookies is Divine. And who else would know that I was craving for English muffins? I had two cookies and an English muffin with butter and my cousin Cathy's homemade strawberry jam. Yum!
That angel must have been my Mom. Last night she sacrificed sleep for me. I am doing that for Skylar I guess. I hope I can get better at this and be the same great Mom to Skylar as mine is to me!
We are going to the Pediatrician today, and I will feel so much better after I get some questions answered about the feeding, her crying, and the diaper rash she's getting even though we've been using A&D. Skylar is still sleeping peacefully and soundly, right next to me. I even had a chance to write this blog. Maybe we will get into a better routine soon, I sure hope so!
My Mom had said, "call me anytime if it gets too rough even if it's the middle of the night". I didn't want to do that. At 1am I was awoken by Nick who found me sitting up in bed holding Skylar. Holding her was the only thing that would keep her quiet. I was at the point where I just could not stay awake anymore. Absolutely impossible. But what could I do? I HAD to take care of her! How do the doctors on call do it? Do they use drugs? Where can I get some? The hospital, that's it. And that's where I wanted to go - to take her back to the nursery, where they did a great job watching Skylar, knew exactly how to care for her and console her, and let me sleep. But once you leave, you can't go back..kind of like Sky must feel about leaving the womb so early. "Man," she must think, "if I only just waited. I had it so good in there." That's how I feel about my hospital stay.
Nick took Skylar from my arms, and she starting fussing and crying wildly again. He tried holding her, the "stair walk" that usually works, but nothing worked. I tried a few of the same things, even sang her some lullabies. She kicked and flailed her arms hitting me in the face and scratching me with her little nails. Maybe she didn't like the lullabies, but why was she so viscious? She was red from crying. I took her temperature: 98.8. Normal. So what was wrong? What could I do? I called Mom - Mayday!
Nick had to go to sleep in order to get up at 5am for work. Mom came over and helped me out. I wound up crying hysterically thinking all kinds of things like how do other people do this, what's wrong with me, how am I going to live like this? I hope it wasn't post partum depression...but no, I am so happy to be a Mommy! Skylar is good most of the day, why are the nights like this?
Mom held Skylar and watched TV. I fell asleep for 3 hours. I woke up, saw Mom and Skylar, it was bliss - I had slept! Skylar was still sleeping, so we put her in the bassinet and Mom left. How could I ever thank her for doing that for me? I'm so lucky, I want to be such a good Mom too.
I was still so tired, wanted more sleep. Tried a few times, and the only thing that quieted Sky was a pacifier. Until it fell out of her mouth after a few minutes. Got up and reset pacifier several times, it turned out to be more trouble getting up and down out of bed with my incision hurting than bothering to sleep at all. I changed and fed her. After alot of fussing, she nursed on my left side for over 20 minutes (I let it go overtime since I was watching "Who's The Boss?" and reminiscing about those clothes we wore back in the 80's) and then fell totally asleep. According to my Dr. and everyone out there who is a baby feeding expert, I should wake her! Blow on her hair, use a wet washcloth on her forehead, change her clothes. Screw that...I let her sleep. That's what she wanted and so did I. While she happily slept, I got a few chores done, the dishes, the laundry, and even dressed in shorts and a shirt (maternity of couse, regular clothes don't fit yet) instead of pajamas. I put on makeup and felt somewhat presentable. I even wrote out two more Thank You notes. I'm out of cards now, will have to pick up some more.
On the kitchen counter this morning as I went to get my coffee I made the most amazing discovery: a package of "Divine Cappucino Chip cookies" and english muffins. Nick couldn't have gotten them because he didn't have time to go to the store, and we never buy either of those things. They must have been from an Angel...that explains why the brand of cookies is Divine. And who else would know that I was craving for English muffins? I had two cookies and an English muffin with butter and my cousin Cathy's homemade strawberry jam. Yum!
That angel must have been my Mom. Last night she sacrificed sleep for me. I am doing that for Skylar I guess. I hope I can get better at this and be the same great Mom to Skylar as mine is to me!
We are going to the Pediatrician today, and I will feel so much better after I get some questions answered about the feeding, her crying, and the diaper rash she's getting even though we've been using A&D. Skylar is still sleeping peacefully and soundly, right next to me. I even had a chance to write this blog. Maybe we will get into a better routine soon, I sure hope so!
posted by spinderella @ 6:57 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home