One Month Old!

Little Sky is ONE MONTH old today! She is also gaining weight - 7lbs 6oz at our Ped visit on Thurs. She's perfectly healthy now: the thrush is gone and we are done with the Deflucon antibiotics as of yesterday. Her belly button is looking good too. I'm able to set her down a bit more - in her bouncer, swing or infant seat - so I can get things done around the house without holding her all the time (although there are times she DOES want to be held and she cries until I pick her up, so I do it.) I'VE made alot of progress too! I finally got through that ton of mail and papers that I kept throwing in a recycled "baby gift bag". OK so I mailed the credit card payment the day it was due. I ordered the baby announcement cards and got the Thank You cards out.



Our feeding plan is going very well; I'm doing a "mix" of about 80% breast milk and 20% Nutramigen formula and this works well not only for her but also for me to sleep an extra couple of hours so Nick or Mom can give her a bottle or pump if Skylar decides to sleep through a feeding. She is a cluster-feeder and has established a schedule of about two periods a day where she likes to feed about every hour or so until she goes into a "milk coma" for about 5 or 6 hours at a time. Fine with me...allows me to sleep and get stuff done around her schedule. The main thing is she's gaining weight perfectly and always lets me know when she's hungry. There's no way to ignore it - she cries with greatening intensity and "roots" like Jabber Jaws when she wants to nurse. The gas cries are different - Nick and I are learning her language. What a great little communicator!

Two out of Three Ain't Bad

Sunday night into Monday was bad - no sleep. But the last two nights were good. Right now, even though it's 2:20am I don't care because I did get sleep earlier, and I'm not tired.

She's crying, just lost her paci again. I'm hoping she'll fall asleep but I'm not sure I'll be so lucky. May have to sit this one out until the next feeding. Either way, it's ok. We're doing better. I think the fact that the thrush disappeared has helped alot.

Crying again, I better take her out and cuddle my little lovebug...

Return to Normalcy

Ahhh, today was a GREAT day. Why? Because it was so UNeventful! We had no visitors. We just had a normal day at home, just like we used to, with only one major difference - now we have our daughter. Just Me, Nick, Skylar and Digit (the cat). Chillin' out, listening to music, doing a few errands here and there, and taking turns watching the baby who spent much of her time sleeping. I even took an afternoon nap: Ahhh. Got a chance to get through a little more of all that mail that's been piling up and tweak the "baby announcements" I've been working on. We got to focus on ourselves, our home, and our baby. I feel so much more confident about feeding the baby: Skylar nurses like a little pro and despite all the scary articles I'd read about how introducing a bottle to the baby might cause her to stop breastfeeding, I'm happy to say that little Skylar still loves to BF and has no problem "switch hitting" over to the bottle - either pumped or formula - when Daddy or Grandma needs to step in, or if Mommy just needs a break. I just know this is the right thing for our baby. Thanks to Dr. Conrad for helping us with that! (I can still tell that Sky prefers me to the bottle of course :-) but supplementing with the formula gives us so much flexibility and ensures she's getting enough of what she needs. I'm convinced that this way is even better than breastfeeding or bottle-feeding exclusively, she gets the best of both worlds. My little Skylar, I'm so proud of you!

Wrote you the "little nurser" song (to the tune of Frere Jacques):
Little nurser, little nurser, what do you do? What do you do? I'm a little feeder, such a good eater! I love you, I love you.

Hey, it's only been 3 weeks and my hormones are a little crazy now. I don't need to make excuses for being really nutty right now and writing silly songs. Another good one is my original "We Burp" rap ditty - she just loves that one!

Another update on my earlier post: Nick and I really are sharing these parenting responsibilities. I think that the tension ran high for both of us last night when our little one was crying uncontrollably. He does have a rough week at work and there is that fine line of both of us feeling overwhelmed. Sure I have been home all week taking care of baby but then again I have been home. He is at work, missing her, calling during the day to check on us. He stops at the supermarket and drug store after work for stuff, takes the garbage out everyday and changes our "diaper disposal" bag, keeps the lawn up, even cleans the house since I can't vacuum and does laundry. We are both working hard and it has only been 3 weeks, we need to get into a routine and give ourselves a break. This was a BIG life change for us and we owe it to ourselves to expect a learning curve and be easy on ourselves and try to keep the "overstimulation" of too many phone calls, visitors, things to do, etc. to a minimum. Nick's doing a GREAT job of gauging our visitor time and I've been very good about being honest and vocal with friends and family telling them when a good time would be and they are so understanding when I say "not today, I'm just so tired." That makes them truly special people! Most only want to help. I'll take Kim up on that visit for coffee this week, Tammy on that dinner she wants to bring, and Karen and I can go to the Mall (oh, I didn't tell her that yet but I'm sure she'll go for it - we can put Sky in the stroller and I can use my coupon for Bath & Body Works).

Another reason things are normal is I am wearing CLOTHES again! Since all my "summer stuff" besides maternity is in a plastic bin somewhere. Most of the tops I was wearing before Skylar were tank tops with little straps that don't cover nursing bras and low-rise shorts that sat below the belly and don't cover the "Grandma undies" I had to switch to since the C-section. So, I'm wearing maternity shorts and the two huge button down tops I have both of which are in the dirty laundry due to breast milk leakage. I have to remember to wear those pads...Mom went to KMart today and I asked if she could pick me up anything. "Yes, a big button down shirt. I don't care how ugly it is, I just need SOMETHING!" She managed to get five really nice shirts on clearance - for 3.50 and 2.80 apiece! And I really like them. I also took the time to slap on some makeup finally - chose a really gaudy pink sparkle color for the lips and similar eyeshadow. Even MASCARA. Big step. But the hair - that was too much trouble. Another day...One day at a time!!

Three Weeks and 2 Days Old!

Yesterday we went back to Dr. Conrad. It's all good: Skylar returned to her birth weight of 6lbs 15oz, indicating the feeding we are doing now - breastmilk supplemented with Nutramigen formula - is going very well. Her thrush has pretty much cleared although we still need to continue the Deflucon for the full 14 days.

Last night however was another "no sleeper" for me. I got about 2 and a half hours once nighttime had past, but that was enough to hold me through the day. I wasn't tired and couldn't nap. It was nice and sunny out and I had alot of energy. We had company last night for dinner, and I was fully awake through that too. Until about 9pm when tiredness hit me like a ton of bricks. I had been consoling myself with the fact that Nick didn't have to work today so I'd give alot of the responsibility to him, only waking up for feedings. I figured he could do alot of the diaper changing, holding her while I slept, and colic consolation - trying whatever works to stop her crying.

But Nick was tired too, and kept falling asleep. I had trouble waking him. Of course I felt angry at the fact that I even had to wake him, before falling asleep he'd said "just wake me up if you need help" but I didn't feel very good about having to rouse him to ask for help, and was steaming inside from the fact that I even had to ask for it. I was so bitter and angry, even though I love Nick and he helps so much with the baby, I had looked so forward to the weekend as my "night off" and this was it. No different than the other nights. He did try to console her a few times but when it didn't work out I wound up with her for alot of the time.

Then a miracle happened because somehow I woke up at 5:30am having had over three hours of precious sleep! Nick had changed her and put new clothes on her while I was sleeping. When I woke up there was coffee ready and Skylar was in her bouncer in the kitchen. Crying hysterically but in there. It's all well again!

Big Steps

Big events this week!

Tuesday - first bath. Cried the whole time. After washing Sky's hair stands up straight and she looks like a little punk rocker. Too cute.

Wednesday - first shopping trip...to Buy Buy Baby and Babies R Us, of course and then on to Dunkin' Donuts so Mom could have a Coolata. Found another type of bottle Sky likes: good old-fashioned Evenflo glass. Mom likes them too, same ones they "USED to use" when I was born - before there was any other choice!

Thursday - first trip to Park (slept through that), Northport Village (slept through that), and Stop N Shop (slept through that TOO!) What a beautiful day at the park, on the water. Oh how nice for MOM to get fresh air and be out in the real world again.

And last night, she even slept through alot of the night and gave me a chance to rest!!!

Don't Wake a Sleeping Baby

Yesterday was August 14th, Skylar's original due date! I was so sure that she would be born on or after that date. But she surprised us, and today she's 18 days old.

Our visit to the Pediatrician Friday went well. Skylar gained weight, 6lbs 11oz. Almost to birth weight. The feeding plan is going well. The bad news is that white stuff all over the inside of her mouth is "Thrush" a yeast infection. We got a prescription for Deflucon to treat it, and now it's looking so much better.

The colic continues, poor Skylar, poor us. It happens at night, so my strategy was to try and sleep a little during the day. Mom came today, and I was able to lay down and rest, but not sleep. Too many thoughts racing through my mind. I did get 3 solid hours of sleep this morning from 7-10.

Baby crying now, gotta run...!

Almost Sleepless Night

Last night the crying fit started around 11pm, after our feeding. I did everything to console her, but nothing worked. I figured it would die down soon...but the fact that this had happened for a few nights now, one of them totally sleepless and some of them mostly sleepless, didn't reassure me. I could not take not sleeping again. I had to sleep. Even though I felt good during the day today I was so tired. My back hurt from holding the baby most of the day, because unless she's sleeping she cries if I put her down. Besides I have no place to put her, except the bouncy seat that I finally discovered today works some of the time. My abdomen was hurting too where the incision from my C-section was, even though it felt so good all day I didn't even take any pain medication. Now, because I was so tired and almost delirious from lack of sleep, everything hurt.

My Mom had said, "call me anytime if it gets too rough even if it's the middle of the night". I didn't want to do that. At 1am I was awoken by Nick who found me sitting up in bed holding Skylar. Holding her was the only thing that would keep her quiet. I was at the point where I just could not stay awake anymore. Absolutely impossible. But what could I do? I HAD to take care of her! How do the doctors on call do it? Do they use drugs? Where can I get some? The hospital, that's it. And that's where I wanted to go - to take her back to the nursery, where they did a great job watching Skylar, knew exactly how to care for her and console her, and let me sleep. But once you leave, you can't go back..kind of like Sky must feel about leaving the womb so early. "Man," she must think, "if I only just waited. I had it so good in there." That's how I feel about my hospital stay.

Nick took Skylar from my arms, and she starting fussing and crying wildly again. He tried holding her, the "stair walk" that usually works, but nothing worked. I tried a few of the same things, even sang her some lullabies. She kicked and flailed her arms hitting me in the face and scratching me with her little nails. Maybe she didn't like the lullabies, but why was she so viscious? She was red from crying. I took her temperature: 98.8. Normal. So what was wrong? What could I do? I called Mom - Mayday!

Nick had to go to sleep in order to get up at 5am for work. Mom came over and helped me out. I wound up crying hysterically thinking all kinds of things like how do other people do this, what's wrong with me, how am I going to live like this? I hope it wasn't post partum depression...but no, I am so happy to be a Mommy! Skylar is good most of the day, why are the nights like this?

Mom held Skylar and watched TV. I fell asleep for 3 hours. I woke up, saw Mom and Skylar, it was bliss - I had slept! Skylar was still sleeping, so we put her in the bassinet and Mom left. How could I ever thank her for doing that for me? I'm so lucky, I want to be such a good Mom too.

I was still so tired, wanted more sleep. Tried a few times, and the only thing that quieted Sky was a pacifier. Until it fell out of her mouth after a few minutes. Got up and reset pacifier several times, it turned out to be more trouble getting up and down out of bed with my incision hurting than bothering to sleep at all. I changed and fed her. After alot of fussing, she nursed on my left side for over 20 minutes (I let it go overtime since I was watching "Who's The Boss?" and reminiscing about those clothes we wore back in the 80's) and then fell totally asleep. According to my Dr. and everyone out there who is a baby feeding expert, I should wake her! Blow on her hair, use a wet washcloth on her forehead, change her clothes. Screw that...I let her sleep. That's what she wanted and so did I. While she happily slept, I got a few chores done, the dishes, the laundry, and even dressed in shorts and a shirt (maternity of couse, regular clothes don't fit yet) instead of pajamas. I put on makeup and felt somewhat presentable. I even wrote out two more Thank You notes. I'm out of cards now, will have to pick up some more.

On the kitchen counter this morning as I went to get my coffee I made the most amazing discovery: a package of "Divine Cappucino Chip cookies" and english muffins. Nick couldn't have gotten them because he didn't have time to go to the store, and we never buy either of those things. They must have been from an Angel...that explains why the brand of cookies is Divine. And who else would know that I was craving for English muffins? I had two cookies and an English muffin with butter and my cousin Cathy's homemade strawberry jam. Yum!

That angel must have been my Mom. Last night she sacrificed sleep for me. I am doing that for Skylar I guess. I hope I can get better at this and be the same great Mom to Skylar as mine is to me!

We are going to the Pediatrician today, and I will feel so much better after I get some questions answered about the feeding, her crying, and the diaper rash she's getting even though we've been using A&D. Skylar is still sleeping peacefully and soundly, right next to me. I even had a chance to write this blog. Maybe we will get into a better routine soon, I sure hope so!

Day 14

Skylar is two weeks old! Where did the time go? She was born 14 days ago, although her due date is still four days away - she was due this Sunday, August 14th, and Nick and I were sure she would wait until at least then.

I'm still wearing PJ's everyday unless I have to go "out" to the Pediatrician. We've been there three times since coming home from the hospital on the 1st. Skylar is having issues with colic that we are trying to address. She lost weight on breast milk, which probably was due to the rocky start I got trying to get the hang of feeding her. One night when she would not stop fussing and crying, the only thing I could do to quiet Skylar was feed her. She would nurse for almost an hour straight. My Ped, Dr. Conrad, advised that baby Skylar was using me as a human pacifier and to cut the feedings down to 20minutes per side, because after that the milk is basically out. She gave me some Similac formula with iron to supplement the feedings and recommended a Medela breast pump.

I bought the formula and bottles, and rented the pump. Shopping for the bottles is totally confusing. I bought the Playtex "Vent-Aire" and some cheap Gerber infant nursers that I liked the color of. Sky did not like either. She also threw up the formula and cried even worse than before.

On Tuesday, she had gained 3oz so we were somewhat successful. Dr. Conrad changed our formula to Enfamil Nutramigen, which is easier on the baby's digestive system. We also got some Dr. Brown's bottles that Skylar likes. (Both of these products are of course the priciest of the lot.) We're doing better now, and going back tomorrow for a weigh-in.

She's now sound asleep in her pack'n play bassinet. But I have to wake her: it's 7:30 already...feeding time AGAIN!